Introduction

When children experience the death of a loved one, the emotions can be confusing and overwhelming. They may not have the language to express their feelings or the coping tools to navigate the grief process. Talking about loss is important, but it can be difficult to know where to begin.

In this blog, we’ll explore how therapy can help children process grief in healthy, age-appropriate ways. We’ll look at how children understand loss, signs they may be struggling, and how family-centered support and therapeutic approaches can ease the healing process.

Did you know that children often grieve in waves, cycling through emotions at different times and stages of development? With the right support, they can learn to process their feelings and move forward with a sense of safety, connection, and hope.

1. How Children Understand and Express Grief

Children experience grief differently than adults, and their understanding of death evolves with age and development. While some may show big emotions, others may appear unaffected at first.

Key points to consider:

• Young children may not fully grasp the permanence of death and may ask repetitive questions
• School-age children often express grief through behavior changes such as irritability, withdrawal, or regression
• Teens may experience a mix of sadness, anxiety, or feel angry, sometimes masking their emotions to protect others

Because children process grief over time, new waves of emotional pain can emerge as they reach different developmental milestones.

2. Signs a Child May Be Struggling

Not every child will talk openly about their feelings. Instead, their grief may show up in subtle or unexpected ways, especially after the loss of a loved one.

Look for signs such as:

• Changes in sleep, appetite, or energy levels
• Regression to earlier behaviors (thumb-sucking, bedwetting)
• Increased clinginess or separation anxiety
• Difficulty concentrating or drop in school performance
• Frequent physical complaints like headaches or stomachaches
• Withdrawal from friends or favorite activities

These signs may indicate that a child is struggling to process grief and could benefit from professional support from a licensed therapist or marriage and family therapist.

3. How Therapy Supports Grieving Children

Therapy provides a safe, supportive environment where children can express their emotions without judgment. Licensed therapists use developmentally appropriate techniques to help children explore feelings, ask questions, and build emotional resilience.

At Flora & Associates, grief support for children may include:

• Play therapy or art therapy to help children communicate through creativity
• Talk therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to process emotions and build coping skills
• Parent consultation to guide caregivers on how to support their child at home
• EMDR or trauma-informed care for children coping with sudden or traumatic loss

Therapy also gives children a sense of consistency and validation, helping them feel less alone in their experience.

4. The Importance of Family Involvement

While children need their own space to grieve, family involvement is key to healing. Grief affects the whole family system, and open communication creates safety and connection.

Family therapy or parent consultation can:

• Improve communication about the loss
• Provide space for shared mourning and memory-making
• Strengthen routines and emotional safety at home
• Offer guidance for talking about death in honest, age-appropriate ways

At Flora & Associates, we work with parents and caregivers to build tools that support children’s emotional needs while also honoring the family’s unique grief journey.

5. When to Reach Out for Support

Every child grieves differently, and there is no “right” timeline. But if grief is interfering with a child’s ability to function, thrive at school, or connect with others, it may be time to reach out.

You might consider professional support if:

• Your child’s symptoms persist or worsen over time
• They are having difficulty returning to daily routines
• You’re unsure how to talk about death or answer difficult questions
• Your family has experienced multiple losses or complicated grief

Seeking support early can prevent long-term emotional pain and help children cope with difficult situations in a healthy way.

6. How Parents Can Support Grieving Children at Home

While therapy offers professional support, parents and caregivers play a key role in helping children process grief between sessions. Creating a calm, predictable, and loving environment can ease the emotional load.

Try these gentle strategies at home:

• Be available for open-ended conversations and questions
• Acknowledge and validate your child’s feelings without rushing to fix them
• Share your own emotions in age-appropriate ways to model healthy grief expression
• Offer structure and routine to help them feel secure during an uncertain time
• Use memory-making rituals like lighting a candle or drawing pictures of the person they miss

Parental presence and patience can go a long way in helping children feel seen and supported as they cope with the loss of a loved one.

7. When to Seek Therapy After a Loss

Not every child will need therapy after experiencing a loss, but some signs may suggest they need additional support from a mental health professional.

Consider reaching out if you notice:

• Ongoing sadness, anger, or withdrawal
• Difficulty sleeping, nightmares, or changes in appetite
• Trouble concentrating at school or a drop in academic performance
• Acting out or regressive behaviors like bedwetting or tantrums
• Avoidance of reminders of the loss or reluctance to talk at all

A licensed therapist or marriage and family therapist can help children explore these feelings in a compassionate, nonjudgmental space.

Conclusion: Gentle Support Makes a Lasting Difference

Grief can be confusing and overwhelming for children, but with the right support, healing is possible. Understanding how kids experience loss, recognizing signs of struggle, and offering open, age-appropriate communication lays the foundation for emotional recovery. Therapy provides a compassionate space for children to express themselves, learn healthy coping skills, and feel less alone in their grief. When families are included in the process, it strengthens connection and fosters resilience.

If your child is grieving and you’re unsure how to help, you don’t have to navigate it alone. At Flora & Associates, our licensed therapists offer child-centered therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, parent consultation, and family sessions to support your family’s emotional wellness through loss.

Contact us today at 973-222-3030 or email info@floraandassociates.com to schedule a consultation, learn more about our grief support services, or explore teletherapy options. Healing can begin with a conversation, and we’re here when you’re ready.